Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Mopey is after me to post more often.
Honestly, it's not that I have so little to say lately, but so much! It's great- so many new adventures: skiing in Nevada, planning a girl's weekend in the big city, reading books, working hard, watching Spring unfurl. Words often feel inadequate for me somehow. I rely much more on my photographs to say what I want. I guess I'm just more of a visual person, though I enjoy the written word too. I'd like to be a better writer.
Thanks Mopey for helping me get off my duff and DO things, not just imagine doing them. :)
-Moops
Honestly, it's not that I have so little to say lately, but so much! It's great- so many new adventures: skiing in Nevada, planning a girl's weekend in the big city, reading books, working hard, watching Spring unfurl. Words often feel inadequate for me somehow. I rely much more on my photographs to say what I want. I guess I'm just more of a visual person, though I enjoy the written word too. I'd like to be a better writer.
Thanks Mopey for helping me get off my duff and DO things, not just imagine doing them. :)
-Moops
Monday, March 13, 2006
You're so VICTORIAN!
Moops:
I thought this exchange in this weekend's NY Times Magazine was amusing on several levels. First it’s just a pretty funny exchange. But second it kind of unwittingly betrays the whole squishy and PC editorial bias of the NY Times… Ahnold’s muscles as a sign of insecurity, Dubya’s vacations as a sign of…. Of something. Oh, and the highest form of insult a liberal can give a conservative: “You’re so….so VICTORIAN!”
And then when you run out of ammo, attack the man for being a wimp by saying he never does anything requiring strength anyway. :)
Men are bad for being manly--but then they're bad for not being manly enough.
Really made me chuckle.
-----------------------------------------------------------
March 12, 2006
Questions for Harvey C. Mansfield
Of Manliness and Men
Interview by DEBORAH SOLOMON
Q: As a staunch neoconservative and the author of a new feminism-bashing book called "Manliness," how are you treated by your fellow government professors at Harvard?
Look, if I only consorted with conservatives, I would be by myself all the time.
So your generally left-leaning colleagues are willing to talk to you?
People listen to me, but they don't pay attention to what I say. I should punch them out, but I don't.
In your latest book, you bemoan the disappearance of manliness in our "gender neutral" society. How, exactly, would you define manliness?
My quick definition is confidence in a situation of risk. A manly man has to know what he is doing.
Hasn't technology lessened the need for risk taking, at least of the physical sort?
It has. But it hasn't removed it. Technology gives you the instruments, and social sciences give you the rules. But manliness is more a quality of the soul.
How does someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger stack up?
I would include him as a manly man.
But doesn't he exemplify the sort of man whose overdeveloped muscles are intended to mask feelings of insecurity?
Yes, but then he stepped up to become governor of California. He took a risk with his reputation.
What about President Bush? He's a risk taker, but wouldn't his penchant for long vacations be a strike against him?
I wouldn't say industriousness is a sign of manliness. That's sort of wonkish. Experts do that.
What about Dick Cheney?
He hunts. And he curses openly. Lynne Cheney is kind of manly, too. I once worked with her on the advisory council of the National Endowment for the Humanities.
In your book, you say Margaret Thatcher is an ideal woman, but isn't she the manliest of all?
I was told by someone who visited her that she is very feminine with her husband.
Why is that so important to you in light of her other achievements?
We need roles. Roles give us mutual expectations of what is either correct or good behavior. Women are neater than men, they make nests, and all these other stereotypes are mostly true. Wives and mothers correct you; they hold you to a standard; they want to make you better.
I am beginning to wonder if you have ever spoken to a woman. Your ideas are so Victorian.
I have a young wife who grew up in the feminist revolution, and even though she is not a feminist, she wants to benefit from it. I wash the dishes, and I make the bed.
How young is she, exactly?
She's 60. I'm 73.
Were you sorry to see Harvard's outgoing president, Lawrence Summers, attacked for saying that men and women may have different mental capacities?
He was taking seriously the notion that women, innately, have less capacity than men at the highest level of science. I think it's probably true. It's common sense if you just look at who the top scientists are.
But couldn't that simply reflect the institutional bias against women over the centuries?
It could, but I don't think it does. We have been going a couple of generations now. There are certain things that haven't changed. For example, in New York City, the doormen are still 98 percent men.
Yes, but fewer jobs depend on that sort of physical brawn as society becomes more technologically adept. Physical advantages are practically meaningless now that men are no longer hunter-gatherers.
I disagree with that.
When was the last time you did something that required physical strength?
It's true that nothing in my career requires physical strength, but in my relations with women, yes.
Such as?
Lifting things, opening things. My wife is quite small.
What do you lift?
Furniture. Not every night, but routinely.
I thought this exchange in this weekend's NY Times Magazine was amusing on several levels. First it’s just a pretty funny exchange. But second it kind of unwittingly betrays the whole squishy and PC editorial bias of the NY Times… Ahnold’s muscles as a sign of insecurity, Dubya’s vacations as a sign of…. Of something. Oh, and the highest form of insult a liberal can give a conservative: “You’re so….so VICTORIAN!”
And then when you run out of ammo, attack the man for being a wimp by saying he never does anything requiring strength anyway. :)
Men are bad for being manly--but then they're bad for not being manly enough.
Really made me chuckle.
-----------------------------------------------------------
March 12, 2006
Questions for Harvey C. Mansfield
Of Manliness and Men
Interview by DEBORAH SOLOMON
Q: As a staunch neoconservative and the author of a new feminism-bashing book called "Manliness," how are you treated by your fellow government professors at Harvard?
Look, if I only consorted with conservatives, I would be by myself all the time.
So your generally left-leaning colleagues are willing to talk to you?
People listen to me, but they don't pay attention to what I say. I should punch them out, but I don't.
In your latest book, you bemoan the disappearance of manliness in our "gender neutral" society. How, exactly, would you define manliness?
My quick definition is confidence in a situation of risk. A manly man has to know what he is doing.
Hasn't technology lessened the need for risk taking, at least of the physical sort?
It has. But it hasn't removed it. Technology gives you the instruments, and social sciences give you the rules. But manliness is more a quality of the soul.
How does someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger stack up?
I would include him as a manly man.
But doesn't he exemplify the sort of man whose overdeveloped muscles are intended to mask feelings of insecurity?
Yes, but then he stepped up to become governor of California. He took a risk with his reputation.
What about President Bush? He's a risk taker, but wouldn't his penchant for long vacations be a strike against him?
I wouldn't say industriousness is a sign of manliness. That's sort of wonkish. Experts do that.
What about Dick Cheney?
He hunts. And he curses openly. Lynne Cheney is kind of manly, too. I once worked with her on the advisory council of the National Endowment for the Humanities.
In your book, you say Margaret Thatcher is an ideal woman, but isn't she the manliest of all?
I was told by someone who visited her that she is very feminine with her husband.
Why is that so important to you in light of her other achievements?
We need roles. Roles give us mutual expectations of what is either correct or good behavior. Women are neater than men, they make nests, and all these other stereotypes are mostly true. Wives and mothers correct you; they hold you to a standard; they want to make you better.
I am beginning to wonder if you have ever spoken to a woman. Your ideas are so Victorian.
I have a young wife who grew up in the feminist revolution, and even though she is not a feminist, she wants to benefit from it. I wash the dishes, and I make the bed.
How young is she, exactly?
She's 60. I'm 73.
Were you sorry to see Harvard's outgoing president, Lawrence Summers, attacked for saying that men and women may have different mental capacities?
He was taking seriously the notion that women, innately, have less capacity than men at the highest level of science. I think it's probably true. It's common sense if you just look at who the top scientists are.
But couldn't that simply reflect the institutional bias against women over the centuries?
It could, but I don't think it does. We have been going a couple of generations now. There are certain things that haven't changed. For example, in New York City, the doormen are still 98 percent men.
Yes, but fewer jobs depend on that sort of physical brawn as society becomes more technologically adept. Physical advantages are practically meaningless now that men are no longer hunter-gatherers.
I disagree with that.
When was the last time you did something that required physical strength?
It's true that nothing in my career requires physical strength, but in my relations with women, yes.
Such as?
Lifting things, opening things. My wife is quite small.
What do you lift?
Furniture. Not every night, but routinely.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Path to Happiness- part 5
Finally! The last piece of the happiness puzzle. Ready for this?
Living up to your own standards:
It's not good enough to work for the money. Oh definitely that's why we work initially. And though it's nice to pick a line of work that we enjoy or that suits our talents/nature, we all have parts of our actual jobs that are a drag. So how do we work for ten, twenty, even thirty years without having a nervous breakdown or midlife crisis? We have to find meaning beyond the dollars in our work. How can we do this job to the best of our abilities? I've had to do some serious soul-searching in regard to my own career: I picked it for good but not complete reasons (good pay, respect of the community, community service, interesting subject matter, noncorporate setting). But it is truly draining and often annoying to work with the public and within an inperfect healthcare system, land of endless paperwork, threat of lawsuits and irate patient/customers. Sometimes I'm too tired to think so hard!
Somewhere along the way, though, I decided it was time to work for myself. I pictured how my job should be done in a perfect world and I strive for it every hour of every day. Day-tight compartments. Even half-day-tight compartments on a particularly bad day. It couldn't be just about the money for me or I'd have quit long ago. You have to instill a human message/ meaning into what you spend so many hours of every week doing.
Living up to your own standards:
It's not good enough to work for the money. Oh definitely that's why we work initially. And though it's nice to pick a line of work that we enjoy or that suits our talents/nature, we all have parts of our actual jobs that are a drag. So how do we work for ten, twenty, even thirty years without having a nervous breakdown or midlife crisis? We have to find meaning beyond the dollars in our work. How can we do this job to the best of our abilities? I've had to do some serious soul-searching in regard to my own career: I picked it for good but not complete reasons (good pay, respect of the community, community service, interesting subject matter, noncorporate setting). But it is truly draining and often annoying to work with the public and within an inperfect healthcare system, land of endless paperwork, threat of lawsuits and irate patient/customers. Sometimes I'm too tired to think so hard!
Somewhere along the way, though, I decided it was time to work for myself. I pictured how my job should be done in a perfect world and I strive for it every hour of every day. Day-tight compartments. Even half-day-tight compartments on a particularly bad day. It couldn't be just about the money for me or I'd have quit long ago. You have to instill a human message/ meaning into what you spend so many hours of every week doing.
Path to Happiness- part 4
Being a good person:
Ok, now it's getting harder. Happiness is hard work! We have to be gracious when people are rude to us in the workplace or the community, because harmony and professionalism is more important sometimes than ego. We need to be grateful to our parents, who loved us and cared endlessly for us for all those years, though at times they really strain our patience with their idiosyncratic ways. Our brother and his wife may really piss us off with their snide remarks over Thanksgiving dinner, but we try to honor that kid in the family photo album sitting next to us at Mount Rushmore (remember how we fought over the binoculars?!). Then there are the spousal obligations- here patience really is a virtue (kidding, Mopey!!). ;)
It's an uphill grind at times to maintain good relations with our family and friends, but what would be the point without these critical relationships.
Ok, now it's getting harder. Happiness is hard work! We have to be gracious when people are rude to us in the workplace or the community, because harmony and professionalism is more important sometimes than ego. We need to be grateful to our parents, who loved us and cared endlessly for us for all those years, though at times they really strain our patience with their idiosyncratic ways. Our brother and his wife may really piss us off with their snide remarks over Thanksgiving dinner, but we try to honor that kid in the family photo album sitting next to us at Mount Rushmore (remember how we fought over the binoculars?!). Then there are the spousal obligations- here patience really is a virtue (kidding, Mopey!!). ;)
It's an uphill grind at times to maintain good relations with our family and friends, but what would be the point without these critical relationships.
Path to Happiness- part 3
Intellectual stimulation:
An adult mind needs grown up stimulation. No, not that kind of stimulation. :)
Let's put it this way, work demands a lot of mental concentration but the subject matter is not always of personal interest to us. And heaven knows that kid stuff is important and all but can be mind numbing after a while at an adult level. Decorating a house is fun, but really, how many brain cells do you use picking tile for the front hallway? See what I mean?
Most adults do not get enough creative mental stimulation. Happiness comes from burning up so me brain cells. I had a blast the other night at our book club meeting, and so did every other person in the room. We used a book that was mind-opening, on a subject vital to current events, took notes and sat around expounding and debating the meaning of it all. It felt soooooo good.
An adult mind needs grown up stimulation. No, not that kind of stimulation. :)
Let's put it this way, work demands a lot of mental concentration but the subject matter is not always of personal interest to us. And heaven knows that kid stuff is important and all but can be mind numbing after a while at an adult level. Decorating a house is fun, but really, how many brain cells do you use picking tile for the front hallway? See what I mean?
Most adults do not get enough creative mental stimulation. Happiness comes from burning up so me brain cells. I had a blast the other night at our book club meeting, and so did every other person in the room. We used a book that was mind-opening, on a subject vital to current events, took notes and sat around expounding and debating the meaning of it all. It felt soooooo good.
Path to Happiness- part 2
One project at a time:
There is tremendous satisfaction in doing something well. And it is really difficult to do many things well all at once. I am not a great multi-tasker though I've learned to be better at it. In general my best performance comes when I'm focused on one major life project at a time. In recent years it has been all about my career. Mopey and I have been money-making machines. As we're reaching our financial goals, I have begun to look around for other things to concentrate on.
Life projects are major lifetime accomplishments: having children, homeownership, a career. In our modern era we can choose to do all of these things. I argue though that happiness doesn't come when you try to do all of these things at once. It's too difficult. People don't get enough sleep or quality time with a spouse or a chance to open their minds by reading for instance when they work full time and try to have children and buy a house that needs endless work done on it all at the same time.
There is tremendous satisfaction in doing something well. And it is really difficult to do many things well all at once. I am not a great multi-tasker though I've learned to be better at it. In general my best performance comes when I'm focused on one major life project at a time. In recent years it has been all about my career. Mopey and I have been money-making machines. As we're reaching our financial goals, I have begun to look around for other things to concentrate on.
Life projects are major lifetime accomplishments: having children, homeownership, a career. In our modern era we can choose to do all of these things. I argue though that happiness doesn't come when you try to do all of these things at once. It's too difficult. People don't get enough sleep or quality time with a spouse or a chance to open their minds by reading for instance when they work full time and try to have children and buy a house that needs endless work done on it all at the same time.
Path to Happiness- part 1
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it is that really makes people happy, or that brings happiness to someone. Certainly a little luck helps (being born attractive, or into a nurturing environment). But mostly we lay the seeds of happiness ourselves, through thought and action.
I finally feel like I'm in a happy place. So many opportunities are opening up in my future. And I want to reflect a bit on how this has all transpired, what seeds were planted, to bring me to this fortunate place.
A cash reserve:
Everyone thinks that money brings happiness, but it really can be a mixed bag. I've learned from my business partner and through the experiences of a rich uncle that money can make you a target for marauders, people who will sue you at the drop of a hat to snag some of your money for themselves, regardless of the "crime" you have been accused of making against them. If you're smart, you won't advertise your wealth. The people who flaunt their money usually aren't the truly wealthy, but those who make a decent income and spend it on stuff. Those who become wealthy have to do so by saving, and many are accustomed to a low-key lifestyle created during their early years of wealth-building. Like us! :)
In my mind having money, not just making it, goes a long way toward making you happy. It's great to have the psychological freedom to buy something you truly want, without guilt. No guilt! Imagine that! That doesn't mean you just go buying stuff left and right, need it or not. My most satisfying purchases are those which I've researched and anticipated and made a slow, rational, sparing decision about. Ah, the sweet bliss you feel when you earn something you really want. Earn is the key word. This idea came from the best of all books, "Your Money Or Your Life," a must read for anyone who wants to retire early, be happy, and go his own road in life. I think about the hours of work that go into every purchase I make: I take home about $25 an hour, so an MP3 player that costs $100 is worth four hours of work. Or is it? Worth thinking about it that way for every thing you buy: is this gadget worth four hours of my life force? Am I exchanging twenty hours of hard labor for a piece of jewelry that I'll only wear once or twice for special occasions?
I finally feel like I'm in a happy place. So many opportunities are opening up in my future. And I want to reflect a bit on how this has all transpired, what seeds were planted, to bring me to this fortunate place.
A cash reserve:
Everyone thinks that money brings happiness, but it really can be a mixed bag. I've learned from my business partner and through the experiences of a rich uncle that money can make you a target for marauders, people who will sue you at the drop of a hat to snag some of your money for themselves, regardless of the "crime" you have been accused of making against them. If you're smart, you won't advertise your wealth. The people who flaunt their money usually aren't the truly wealthy, but those who make a decent income and spend it on stuff. Those who become wealthy have to do so by saving, and many are accustomed to a low-key lifestyle created during their early years of wealth-building. Like us! :)
In my mind having money, not just making it, goes a long way toward making you happy. It's great to have the psychological freedom to buy something you truly want, without guilt. No guilt! Imagine that! That doesn't mean you just go buying stuff left and right, need it or not. My most satisfying purchases are those which I've researched and anticipated and made a slow, rational, sparing decision about. Ah, the sweet bliss you feel when you earn something you really want. Earn is the key word. This idea came from the best of all books, "Your Money Or Your Life," a must read for anyone who wants to retire early, be happy, and go his own road in life. I think about the hours of work that go into every purchase I make: I take home about $25 an hour, so an MP3 player that costs $100 is worth four hours of work. Or is it? Worth thinking about it that way for every thing you buy: is this gadget worth four hours of my life force? Am I exchanging twenty hours of hard labor for a piece of jewelry that I'll only wear once or twice for special occasions?
As I said to Mopey the other night "It's so relaxing to be rich." I really sleep well at night. I don't worry about money. I don't have to, because there is money in the bank, in the brokerage account, in my wallet, and a promise of it in the paycheck I'm getting 10 days from now. Much more money coming in than is going out. And I don't mean to brag. It's a choice we all make. Sure, Mopey and I make really good money. But we chose long ago to live well beneath our means. And yes we have forgone many things that might have made life easier (a cleaning lady), more fun (a plasma TV or mountain bikes), or fancier (a BMW). But it's a unique feeling not to need money, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
